Hey all, welcome to my pity party. I have been running with a training group for 7 weeks now and I am always the last person in the group. The leader basically has to fall back with me and then run forward to be sure the others can still hear her call out intervals. I feel so awful. I am trying so hard and am still the slowest. My thoughts were terrible tonight, things like "why do I always choose things that I am terrible at?" and "I need to just give up all these goals I have because I will never achieve them".
I have lost all joy in running because every run consists of the group all in front of me and me pressured to figure out how to keep up. I know I need to be challenged but I think I need to add a run that is just meditative to remind me why I am doing this. I actually had tears in my eyes in front of the coach and another girl that said to me, "I think it is so great that you are hanging in there with us, I don't think I could have your resilience." Now I know she meant it as a compliment but I just felt stupid for crying and terrible that I have to be the one who stands out as the slow one that won't give up.
I feel like if I just stop it will be better for the group and yet something in me will not allow me to give up on this.
I am sorry for the pity party. I don't know if it is just the running, Jake being deployed for so long, pms or what but I just feel awful.
Ok party over, go back to your regularly scheduled programming
5 comments:
RunninRobin, don't think that way. In any runner's group there is always one first and one last runner. If you don't feel confortable being the last one, just don't run with them. In any case, just keep running!! If you don't run with them any one else will take your place as the last runner of the group!!
The only think I would care in your situation is if you would be slowing the group, which I don't think it is the case.
And remember, running is not only an activity, a sport but a way of life. Just enjoy running, whatever your pace and distance is, YOU ARE A REAL RUNNER!!
Can relate.
There's absolutely no reason that all paces and all distances can't be accommodated for your group's workouts. When I first started, my coach would instruct me on how to tailor the workout to my pace and ability. Now, I just know how to do it and I fit right in with everybody, 3 hour marathoners to 6 hour marathoners.
On long runs, I leave a little early. I basically figure out when the rest of the group is going to finish. If they're doing 12 miles at an average 9 minute/mile pace and I'm doing 8 at ~14 minute pace, then just do the math. Figure how long it takes you and how long it takes most of them and just leave that much earlier. What ends up happening is you leave a little early. Everybody passes you at some time during the run. If it's an out and back, then you turn around. The faster runners will be passing you again towards the end of the run but you arrive at the finish with the big part of the group, just in time for trash talking and frivolity, the funnest part of running.
If you're doing speedwork, tailor your intervals based on time. If everyone else is doing 400's, and they're twice as fast as you, then you do 200's. If it's a 3 mile tempo run and it takes most 30 minutes to do that, then do a 30 minute tempo run.
Effort and time are the great equalizers. If I run at tempo effort for 30 minutes, that's exactly the same workout that speedy gonzales is doing if he's doing a 30 minute tempo run.
Please read this post from my blog from last year.
http://run4yourlife.blogspot.com/2006/09/perspective.html
I know how you feel. Last fall I joined a group that was training for the Tufts 10k and I was not only the last person in the group but the oldest as well. I figured I was better off continuing training on my own rather than to continue to frustrate myself with that group.
I know there are groups out there that don't think a 12 minute mile is slow or that being in your mid-40's is old. One day I may even find one; however, that sense of frustration and dread went away when I took control and went back to doing my own thing.
That's when it hit me: I took control.
You'll get through this sweetie. It doesn't feel that way because you have a lot on your plate, but trust me, you will. Heck, I'm still running after over a year so miracles do happen. :D
Just stopping by to check on you and see how the running is going. Keep smiling!
Robin, don't you even think of quitting. You're one of my best supporters, and I need you to be positive. Don't let the group get you down -- you'll get there! I have complete faith in you. Really!
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