HB Surf and Sand 5k

This was an evening race in Huntington Beach on the sand right on the shore. It was a small race in comparison to others I have run. I got there early and parking was easy, got my number and hung out till the start.

I knew right when I began running that this was not going to be fun. For some reason the sand, even though it was mostly packed, was really tough on my calves. They were hurting bad and did not seem to warm up like they usually do.

But I kept plugging along until the 2nd mile when my left foot went completely numb. Great! So I stopped and tried to retie my shoe to make it looser but that did not seem to help any. So I just kept going, trying to ignore it.

There was one lady that was with me the whole time, she was doing walk run intervals and everytime I caught up to her, she took off. Well me running the whole way began to get quite perturbed lol. So at the end of the race I kicked it and blasted past her so I could beat her in this race LOL. It is truly funny that no matter where your standing is in a race, there is always someone to compete with!

My time was a PR but not as well as I would have liked. I think if I was not in such pain and did not have a numb foot, I could have done better.

One of the women in our group placed 3rd in her age group (55-59) and she was thrilled so that was cute to see.

We got a tshirt and a shell necklace and some of us girls went out for well deserved Mexican food complete with Margaritas

Next up is either the Crime Prevention 5k in Los Alamitos or the Turkey Trot 10k in Dana Point or both

Thanks for reading!
Robin

Rancho Santa Margarita

Hi all!

Well I did it

Here are the details. Woke up to a messed up stomach and unsure whether it was nervousness or the fajitas I had last night Anyway I will spare you the details but I was in the restroom alot!! On one of my lovely restroom stops at a gas station I made a wrong turn and went about 5 miles out of the way and had to find my way back lol.

I finally met up with the girls I was running with and we made our way to the start. There was just a little red line to identify the start.

Mile 1 was an uphill grade for about the whole mile, what a way to warm up! My legs felt terrible but my stomach was ok thank God. I did not hear the guy call the time on the first mile.

Mile 2 - We turned a corner and there was a blessed downhill grade and shade!!! I put on Eminem and rocked out. This was the mile that felt the best. The guy called out 30.25 at 2 miles. I was a bit disappointed cause I really wanted to to get under 45 min.

Mile 3 I was just plugging along, trying to keep positive, getting tired but hanging in there.
At the finish I entered the wrong chute and had to jump over 2 ropes to get in the right place. Then I was behind a guy with a stroller and 3 girls that kept dropping their water bottles! I am not sure what time they got but I had 48 min for 3.29 miles according to my garmin.

Not the under 45 I wanted but this race was a success for 2 reasons:

1) I was not freaked out about racing this morning at all. Normally I have bad dreams and can barely breathe for the nervousness of it all.

2) I did not let one negative thought enter my head. I stayed focused and for the first time I ran the whole thing w/o stopping.

So I consider it a definite success. I feel like my mind is finally in the place to let my body improve and that is a very good thing.

As I was running into the finish some of the girls were screaming my name, cheering me in. That was awesome!

pity party

Hey all, welcome to my pity party. I have been running with a training group for 7 weeks now and I am always the last person in the group. The leader basically has to fall back with me and then run forward to be sure the others can still hear her call out intervals. I feel so awful. I am trying so hard and am still the slowest. My thoughts were terrible tonight, things like "why do I always choose things that I am terrible at?" and "I need to just give up all these goals I have because I will never achieve them".

I have lost all joy in running because every run consists of the group all in front of me and me pressured to figure out how to keep up. I know I need to be challenged but I think I need to add a run that is just meditative to remind me why I am doing this. I actually had tears in my eyes in front of the coach and another girl that said to me, "I think it is so great that you are hanging in there with us, I don't think I could have your resilience." Now I know she meant it as a compliment but I just felt stupid for crying and terrible that I have to be the one who stands out as the slow one that won't give up.

I feel like if I just stop it will be better for the group and yet something in me will not allow me to give up on this.

I am sorry for the pity party. I don't know if it is just the running, Jake being deployed for so long, pms or what but I just feel awful.

Ok party over, go back to your regularly scheduled programming

the road...

I am so happy! I finally found the scene in "What Women Want" that started the wheels turning in my head to begin running. Something about this scene struck a chord in me and I wanted to be the woman featured, her breath, her strength, her shoes pounding the pavement, no judgement, no pretences, just her and the road. I am not quite her yet and dont know if I ever will be or even should be, but I am becoming the runner I am supposed to be.... and the road loves me too.

Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5Ct2Rp3HG8

For some reason html is unavailable so just copy and paste into browser, trust me the extra work will be worth it!

Destroyed

This is a picture of my friend and hero. Wow this is really hard. My friend, actually one of my best friends was killed Sunday in Iraq. I try to live life with some semblence of normalcy but can't help but feel so sad and cry all the time. His wake is tomorrow and his funeral is on Sunday. He was such a fun, goofy guy and did not deserve this at all. There are so many things that are so wrong about this that go above and beyond the fact that we lost him. He has to have a closed casket because his body is too destroyed, God that kills me. He was to be promoted to Sgt. upon returning from his mission and he will never know it. He was just married before he left and his wife is completely destroyed. She has a 16 year old son who finally got the Dad he deserved when they married. This woman has already lost a fiance a while back, her dad and brother also died young. It is so damn unfair.

I am terrified that Jake is in Afganistan right now. I want to do something to keep him safe and yet we tried all of it with Eric, and lost him anyway. I know I am rambling, I just am so sad, scared, crushed and the tears do not seem to run out. I loved Eric and now I will never see his goofy smirk again.





Oh and I ran 6.14 miles today for him, a LSD PR for me.

my Grandmother

I went to see my grandmother today. 93 years old and I tell you she looked great! She fell and broke her ankle and so has to be in assisted living for a bit until she can walk on her own again. She showed me her leg and I noticed how smooth her skin still is; her hair is still soft gray and her face, although showing the signs of age, still has a glow. I feel so blessed to come from a long line of women who are strong physically and mentally.

Each of my children hugged her goodbye and she spoke softly to them in their ear. I did not ask them what she said; I will let them keep that for themselves.

I brought her an ice cream sundae and she ate every drop. LOL none of the women in my family have ever been able to turn down ice cream.

I went on a 4 mile run tonight and I ran the whole thing w/o stopping. I ran it for my sister who can't for she is no longer with us; I ran it in honor of my grandmother whom I admire immensely for being who she is so late in life. It was a great run and I feel very much alive tonight

A social run...

Tonight I ran 4 miles with a friend from the beginners Runner's World forums. I was a bit worried about this run because yesterday I worked my legs pretty hard at the gym. The start was tough but then we both seemed to get in a groove and comfortable pace and we cruised the 4 miles, chatting, laughing. We even sprinted to the finish :) It was awesome!

My legs are a bit sore but I truly feel like improvement is right around the corner for me! It feels good to be making runner friends.

Life is good and I am thankful.

Going to the next level...

Well I have finally joined a training group. We meet mon, wed and sat for 3 months with the goal of completing a 5k or 10k at the end. I am hoping to make some new friends and running partners! I am really excited about this and I think it will be very good for me!

It starts July 9th, I'll let you know how it goes!

Anniversary Beach Run

Today I have been married 15 years. My husband is away but I decided that today was not going to be a sad day. So I started off early with a run on the beach. 3.5 miles. I am so thankful that I am running pain free *knock on wood*. It was really beautiful out there today and the only people there were the surfers and runners :) I am working on building a base for when my husband comes home. It would be the greatest joy for me to be able to run with him and actually have him get a workout too.

I am having a hard time not going out too much though. Even as I sit here I have the urge to run again tonight but I know it would be pushing it.

I am sitting here waiting for a delivery from him that is supposed to come today. Come on people!!! Hurry up! lol

new goal

Well as many of you know my husband and I are in the middle of his long deployment. He will be home spring 08. We are able to talk on the phone alot and have decided to spend time together accomplishing some of the goals that are important to us.

One of the goals is running together and training for a major race. Probably the LA marathon because that is where we grew up. It just seems like the right one for us to do. In all this I am painfully aware that my skill is significantly below his. So much so that if he runs with me, he gets no training affect at all.

This leads me to my personal goal. I have signed up for the devine training for the marathon, I will not run it for we want to train for it and run our first one together, but it is an easy plan that can get me in shape enough to train with him when he gets home.

2.5 miles completed today

1st run back

I went down to the bay this afternoon. It was a beautiful day 75 degrees and I just could not work out inside a gym.

I decided to move for one hour, walking, running, whatever. I had a tough time finding my groove and nothing felt right. Walking too slow. Running too hard. Finally a slow classical song from "Somewhere in Time" came on, some of my favorite music in the world. I decided just to stare at a spot far in front of me and zone out and just run. I got into that meditative state that is so wonderful and rare. Nothing hurt. I know I was going really slow but I did not care.

When I get into that state I always like to write down what my thoughts are because it is in those times that I feel the most alive. I was thinking about how thankful I am that running gives benefits even to beginners, how after a run at 15 min/mile, I will feel the same as that gazelle that just passed me.

I shouldn't still be a beginner as I started running sept. 04 but because of life and inconsistency I am. Maybe I always will be. But the road by the bay does not care, the sport of running does not care and is there for me no matter when I come back to it.

3.81 miles
1 hour
15.44 min/mile
calories: 511

Thanks for reading,
Robin

getting the bug again

Well I have not visited here in a while. With family stuff, deployment and school I have had much on my plate to keep me from running. But there are those moments when I really miss it. That tingling in my chest, the coolness of sweat on my body when I have cooled down, the feeling of power that I am doing something hard. I have been going to the gym and more and more I find myself on the treadmill, not for long but just enough to get that buzz. Then I visit runnersworld forums and it is all over lol. Those people are so motivating with their commitment to running that I really feel like I should give it another go. Like I have done several times before. I guess that is what life is all about though right. Trying things, getting busy, coming back to the things that mean the most to you.

Anyway, random thoughts I know. Hmm maybe I should go out for a run...

waiting for Spring...

As I woke up this morning in the darkness I thought, that is what the winter this year has been for me... darkness. With Jake's deployment, holidays that were anything but joyful, my son getting into trouble, and an acute sense of loneliness. It seems that the light of spring will never come.
And even as I type this, I know it will. School is starting, the troubles with my son will eventually smooth out. Faire season is coming which means weekends will be surrounded by friends. The mornings will even get lighter with the earlier sunrise of spring.
So I wait and try to hold on to the small joys of life until the darkness fades. Like my 4 year old's smile and my beautiful dog, finding a Dr. Seuss book I have not seen since I was a kid and thought was out of print, reading that book to my kids. Appreciating a sense of humor amidst all the hell we are going through. All of these things and more I will hold on to until I see the sunlight of spring.

The Waiting Place

"You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads
at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place... for people just waiting." Dr. Seuss

This is the place I am in right now. Waiting for people to call me back, waiting for appointments, waiting to see what school my son will go to, waiting to run again, waiting for my school to start, waiting for some normalcy in life again, waiting for my husband's deployment to be over.

The book "Oh the Places You'll Go" does not stay in the waiting place though.

"NO!
That's not for you!
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing." Dr. Seuss

Yes I will escape this endless waiting soon and I cannot wait till I do! Hopefully I am becoming a stronger person and my son is learning some important lessons in the process.

What does not kill you...

only makes you stronger!

At least that is what I am hoping. All the sudden my life is about probation officers and court dates. My son got arrested and my husband is deployed. Parenting is harder than I ever thought it would be and I am reeling trying to make sense of all this and figure out what to do.

At the same time that I am figuring all this out, I need to figure out how to destress. Running has not been an option because when they put your kid on house arrest, it is really putting the parent on house arrest too. I think I may try some meditation/yoga because I can do that at home. I used to think that when a kid got in trouble, "where are his parents?" Now I am learning that you can love your kids more than anything, provide a loving stable environment, and they can still get in trouble. I am not sure why this is affecting me so much, maybe because he is my first and I feel a special connection to him even though I don't think he does to me.

I am praying and praying and praying hoping to see a light at the end of this tunnel. I just want life to be normal again!!!

That is all for now, sorry for the downer,
Robin

I'm Not Okay

Well I was on the treadmill today doing 3 miles. Well my power song on my ipod came on and it is the song "I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance. Well most of the time this song gets me totally pumped and I cannot help but to run faster. Today was a bit different. I still went faster, 5.0 speed which is 12 min per mile but this time I thought of my 14 year old that has been giving me a real run for my money lately.

The words go, "I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay, you wear me out" Other words too that I cannot recall but I started crying. So here I am on a treadmill, moving my uncoordinated self at a pace that is super fast for me and crying. I thought about the absurditiy of it all and started laughing. So I am running fast (for me), on a treadmill, crying and laughing!!! What am I trying to do kill myself?? Anyhoo, it really was a great release for me. I am struggling so much with things in my life right now with Jake gone and it felt good to yell, "I'm not ok", pushing my body to it's max, and realizing that sometimes not being ok, is OK.

That's it for now,
Robin

Inspiration

Ok having just read a friend's first marathon race report on Runner's World I am inspired to start writing down this experience of running and life in general. My goals are not as huge as a marathon at this point, a 10k will suffice for now :)

I started running in Sept. 04 but consistancy has been an issue for me. It seems though if I have a race in my sight, I am much better at getting out on the roads to actually run. This being January of a new year, it is the perfect time for new goals and new challenges.

My husband is deployed with the Army right now and I am here at home with 3 boys that present several challenges along with joys. I do believe that a regular running schedule will help me with many of the stresses that occur pretty regularly these days.

I have a schedule on my calendar for the 10k training. Basically running 4 days per week going 1/2 further every week till I am up to 8 miles by May. Having sciatica forces me to build slowly as to not aggravate it.

I am also a student majoring in Communicative Disorders. I love school! Good thing too since I have so much of it left!

Anyhoo, that is about it for now.

See ya on the flip side,
Robin